Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did. She just did it backwards and in high heels.
I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight. -Rita Rudner
I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top. ~ English Professor, Ohio University
I've learned that wherever I go, the world's worst drivers have followed me there. ~ Anon.
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. ~ Lily Tomlin
Life is like a camel; you can make it do anything except back up. ~ Marcelene Cox
If you drink like a fish, don't drive. Swim. ~ Joe E. Louis
You're a good example of why some animals eat their young. ~ Jim Samuels
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. ~ Lily Tomlin
Life is an endless struggle of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like. ~ Anon.
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is ... if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is? ~ Paul Merton
If you think that there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody. ~Anon.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets. ~ Anon.
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. ~ Winston Churchill
The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. ~Albert Einstein
My mother buried three husbands ... and two of them were only napping. ~ Rita Rudner
Don't accept rides from strange men, and remember that all men are strange as hell.
~ Robin Morgan
Updated January 2002.